I grew up watching The Three Stooges on television with my Dad. He was a quiet man that kept to himself most of the time, so it was fun to spend time with him on those rare occasions that he laughed. This is, in part, how I developed my silly sense of humor. I learned to act silly and laugh at others who were acting silly.
Unfortunately, not everyone who is silly, is trying to be that way! As a youngster, I didn't think anything of "making fun" of others as long as they were not around to have their feelings hurt. So during my youth I found friends who also enjoyed joking around in this way.
I've only recently learned that this is not a good way to have fun. It really isn't much different than gossiping about someone who isn't around to defend themselves. The conclusion by those who witness this subtle ridicule, have a valid concern that they will likely be the target at a later time.
This kind of immaturity is just one example of my people skills needing a make over. So I've been delving into books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Have Power and Confidence in Dealing with People to help me relate to others in a more positive fashion.
These books are invaluable. I'm realizing that the obvious art of listening to others is a much deeper and profound skill than simply hearing what is being said. And not to be terribly hard on myself, I'm also learning that many people I come into contact with are not much better at it than I am.
On my self-improvement journey, I'm enjoying a gem of a book entitled Personality Plus. The author spells out 4 very different personalities and most of us can relate to one type more than the others. It lists both helpful and not so helpful aspects of each personality.
Learning about my own predominant way of being in the world, as well as the 3 other personalities is helpful. I now work on relating toothers and develop strengths I did not realize were available to me. It is easy to rationalize my own tendencies and I normally limit my friendships to those of my own "type". But my life has become more rich now that I am learning through these fabulous writings that I can relate to very different people by noticing their strengths above their challenges.
I'll always enjoy a good episode of The Three Stooges, but I'll fore go emulating them. Which is what I do when I don't relate to the real people I come into contact with each day and instead pay more attention to their silliness. We are all silly, but it is nice to be noticed for our positive attributes. At least, that is what I'm learning by reading this wonderful material.
Unfortunately, not everyone who is silly, is trying to be that way! As a youngster, I didn't think anything of "making fun" of others as long as they were not around to have their feelings hurt. So during my youth I found friends who also enjoyed joking around in this way.
I've only recently learned that this is not a good way to have fun. It really isn't much different than gossiping about someone who isn't around to defend themselves. The conclusion by those who witness this subtle ridicule, have a valid concern that they will likely be the target at a later time.
This kind of immaturity is just one example of my people skills needing a make over. So I've been delving into books like How to Win Friends and Influence People and How to Have Power and Confidence in Dealing with People to help me relate to others in a more positive fashion.These books are invaluable. I'm realizing that the obvious art of listening to others is a much deeper and profound skill than simply hearing what is being said. And not to be terribly hard on myself, I'm also learning that many people I come into contact with are not much better at it than I am.
On my self-improvement journey, I'm enjoying a gem of a book entitled Personality Plus. The author spells out 4 very different personalities and most of us can relate to one type more than the others. It lists both helpful and not so helpful aspects of each personality.
Learning about my own predominant way of being in the world, as well as the 3 other personalities is helpful. I now work on relating toothers and develop strengths I did not realize were available to me. It is easy to rationalize my own tendencies and I normally limit my friendships to those of my own "type". But my life has become more rich now that I am learning through these fabulous writings that I can relate to very different people by noticing their strengths above their challenges.
I'll always enjoy a good episode of The Three Stooges, but I'll fore go emulating them. Which is what I do when I don't relate to the real people I come into contact with each day and instead pay more attention to their silliness. We are all silly, but it is nice to be noticed for our positive attributes. At least, that is what I'm learning by reading this wonderful material.
No comments:
Post a Comment